Effective
Engineering
e-Newsletter
– 6/04/2009
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eN-090604:
A Fresh Start! – Part III – Birth and Rebirth
By Tom Dennis – President, Effective Engineering
[tdennis@effectiveeng.com]
In the past I’ve
written twice about Fresh Starts. The first (see
eN-060302 – A Fresh Start!) spoke to the value of a positive
attitude in any fresh start, whether that fresh start was voluntary or
involuntary. The second (see
eN-080103 – A Fresh Start! – Part II) spoke to the ways any
changes in your life, from new assignments, to new jobs, to new
locations, to whatever, require fresh starts in actions and attitudes,
and what you can do to make them the best experiences they can be. So
what else can be new about fresh starts?
In late January our daughter Melissa and son-in-law Dan gave birth to
our first grandchild, a beautiful baby boy named Jack! You simply can’t
get a fresher start than with a newborn. You get a chance to look at
the world through his eyes where absolutely everything is new. He just
came from a dark, quiet, constantly warm liquid world into a bright,
noisy, cold and constantly changing world with new sights, new sounds,
new surroundings, and new and strange people (whatever they are to
him). Talk about change! Jack was born about a month early, and so
faced more challenges than most other newborns, although thankfully
fewer than others. A little peanut at about 4½ pounds, he spent twelve
days in a neo-natal intensive care unit getting around-the-clock care
with his Mom and Dad almost constantly close-by for care and feeding to
get him past the early dangers he was facing. He has grown
substantially, now at 4 months and about 12 pounds and growing every
day. He is a joy to behold!
It all gives a new perspective on a fresh start. A baby comes into the
world totally dependent on those around him or her, primarily the
parents, but also grandparents, doctors, nurses, friends, and others.
Babies communicate by cooing, crying, smiling, squirming, stretching,
eating, spitting, pooping, peeing, and yes, laughing. New sights and
sounds come to them every day, as eyesight sharpens and more and more
comes into focus, and as sounds morph from pure cacophony to melodious
as eyes, ears and brain start to make sense of what’s going on around
them. The same is true for the other senses of taste, touch, and
smell. New people are constantly holding them, making noises, touching,
cooing, and doing all the other strange things grown-ups and children
do. And what are those furry things with cold noses that come by to
smell and lick? What a terrific experience it can be for everyone!
As a new grandparent, a new baby provides opportunities observed but
never fully appreciated until it happens to you. You get to spend time
to play with your grandchild and enjoy all the great new sights and
sounds through the baby’s senses, but at the end of the day you get to
give the baby back to the parents so you don’t suffer through the
sleepless nights and constant changing’s. You get all of the benefits
with few of the consequences. What a great concept!
At the same time all of this was going on, serendipity came in and gave
me another fresh start of different kind. Shortly before Melissa left
work on maternity leave she had been asked to set up a new group in her
company to centralize the building of “products” in her company,
basically production and quality. This is a production and quality
group, but not in a traditional sense, since their product is customized
automated interactive call programs, and not traditional physical
products. She was tied up in the busy account management activities she
performed very well, and was having difficulty finding the time to get
this new group up and running. Since I’ve been involved in setting up
quality groups of one kind or another, among many other responsibilities
throughout my career, I offered to help out on a volunteer basis. She
mentioned this to her bosses, and they said they’d be willing to pay for
my services (sounded good to me! :-)). I then came in and met with her
boss, and he asked if I could come in as a consultant to set up the
group and manage it while Melissa was on maternity leave. I’ve been
able to get the new group up and running well, pending Melissa’s
return. Melissa returned at the end of April, and decided jointly with
her bosses that her continuing on the account management side of the
business made the most sense for the company and for her, and as a
consequence I’m still there, likely at least through the end of the
year. What are the odds of something like this happening? As I’ve said
before, serendipity can change your life! (see also
eN-080306 – Serendipity Can Change Your Life!)
So, we’ve got birth and rebirth, and some serious fresh starts! So,
that’s a nice story and congratulations and all that, but what does this
all mean to anyone else?
When you find yourself in a totally new situation, you may find yourself
dependent on others until you become acclimated and comfortable with
your new surroundings and your role in your new world. You will likely
find this dependence an uncomfortable circumstance, but one which you
initially have little control over. Live with this as may be necessary,
but move past it as quickly as you can to stand on your own and
prosper. Recognize as you go through a period of dependence, that while
you may be dependent on others for some things, you may find that others
become at least partially dependent on you for other things. Work
together so that you can all experience a rebirth and learn from and
grow with each other.
What’s change to you or me, even in changing a job or moving a distance,
pales in comparison to the constant change a new baby undergoes, where
absolutely everything is brand new. At least for you or me the
territory is somewhat familiar and you have some understanding of what
you’re getting into, whether you asked for it or not. We all undergo a
lot of changes, perhaps not every day like a newborn, but still changes
that can be unsettling and disruptive. The key is what you do with
them? Do you embrace the changes, viewing them as an opportunities for
a rebirth (of mind, body, and spirit), or do you fight them every step
of the way? There are some changes that may be unacceptable, and need
to be fought, but not all changes. As in the serenity prayer, learn to
accept those things you cannot change, have the courage to change those
things you can, and gain the wisdom to know the difference.
For those things you cannot change, accept and embrace the change. Be
open to change, and recognize that it can be what you make of it. If
you view change as a negative, it will be so because your attitude and
approach will make it so. A poor attitude in the face of change will
generally have more impact on you than on others around you, but your
poor attitude can have negative consequences on those around you as
well. Don’t drag others down with you! If you view change as a
positive, make every effort to make it a positive for those around you
as well. A fresh start can be a truly exciting time, a rebirth that
gives new spirit and promise to everyone in an organization. Use it as
your launching pad to a new and exciting future.
Look for and identify opportunities when you see them. They often come
from the most unexpected places and can totally change your life,
sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Recognize the
direction of your fresh start and adapt accordingly. Birth and
rebirth can be extraordinary times to learn and grow and
prosper. Take advantage of the opportunities whenever they occur!
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